


My New Moms

by Batzolli



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F, Gen, Multi, POV Original Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-13
Updated: 2013-02-13
Packaged: 2018-02-20 07:17:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2419883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batzolli/pseuds/Batzolli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Futurefic. Maura and Jane are happily married, so the next step? Adopting a precocious 10-year-old named Shannon, and everything that goes along with adopting a kid who's been in the foster system her whole life. Written from Shannon's perspective.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first attempt ever at a multi-chap Rizzles fic, originally posted during 2013 over on my ff.net account (wulfgrl58). Hope you enjoy!

Hi. I'm here to tell you about the two most amazing people I've ever known: my moms. If you're from Boston, you've probably heard of them, one is the Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (I always just say she's the head boss of the dead people, but she doesn't like that), and my other mom was the youngest woman to ever make detective in the Boston PD, took down one of the most dangerous serial killers ever, and was the first female detective to ever work in Homicide. Of course, now she runs the place as Lt., the youngest female Lieutenant in the Boston Police Department history, not that she likes to be reminded of that, it's a recent promotion and I think she's freaking out. So who am I? I'm Shannon Isles-Rizzoli, the fourteen-year-old daughter of Dr. Maura Isles-Rizzoli, and Lt. Jane Isles-Rizzoli. No, I'm not their biological daughter, they adopted me when I was ten, but they are my parents, the only ones I got, and I think they are pretty cool. That's why I'm writing about them in this essay, because you asked me about my heroes, and here they are. I guess I should start from when I met them, four years ago last week.

Growing up in the foster system is no fun. Bouncing around homes, constantly changing schools and friends, it gets exhausting. At first you fight it, you get upset when you leave the first foster home, even though the mom lady was mean and only gave you gross bargain brand cereal and you shared your room with three other girls, but it was yours, and since the only thing that is yours is your small suitcase of clothes and your stuffed teddy bear they gave you at the hospital when you fell and broke your arm when you were three, and that home, you fight it. You cry and scream and for God's sakes, you're only four and a half, you don't want to go to somewhere scary and new, even though the government people tell you it will be better, a bigger house with a nicer mom and your own room. Of course, they lied, you still share your room, but this time its with the monster that lives in your closet. And then right after your fifth birthday they move you, again, and this time you still scream and cry, but a little less than last time.

By the time I was ten I had been in almost as many foster homes, and seen the full spectrum of humanity. I had had nice foster parents and mean ones, and everything in between. Lived in nice big houses in good neighborhoods with schools that served fruit and salad with lunch, and lived in cramped apartments in not-so-great neighborhoods where my lullaby at night was the sounds of police sirens and yelling. Those homes always lasted longer than I would have liked, and the nice homes with my own room and a big bed were always too short. In the beginning changing homes had simply been because of the system, but as I got older it was usually my fault, causing trouble with the other kids or my foster parents. By the time I met Maura and Jane I had been in my third home that year. It wasn't my fault that the other kids at the home teased me, calling me scarecrow and string bean. It wasn't my fault that at ten years old I was taller than most middle schoolers, that the last few months had been nothing but constant growing pains, and that none of my clothes fit right anymore because the newest piece of clothing I owned was a hand-me-down Red Sox shirt from last Christmas, almost four inches ago. But still, since I was the one who threw the first punch, I was the one getting thrown out.

I had barely gotten used to the newest home when Jane and Maura came to see me. I didn't know what was going on, no one had come to see if they wanted to adopt me since I was four. After that I was no longer a cute little baby, and potential adopters only want babies. Not damaged ten-year-old who are constantly getting into fights and knocking stuff over because they don't know where the ends of their limbs are. But one Saturday I woke up to my latest foster mom rushing me out of bed, herding me to the bathroom to shower, laying out my best clothes for me to wear, the ones I saved for picture day or meetings with my case worker. A faded yellow polo shirt and jeans that had no holes in them, and almost reached my ankles. Once I was clean and clothed, my foster mom, Cecelia I think her name was, ushered my downstairs, saying there were some very important people who wanted to meet me. As I walked down the stairs, still rubbing sleep from my eyes, I saw two very pretty ladies standing at the bottom of the stairs. One had honey-blonde hair and kind blue eyes, slightly crinkled with her smile, and the other woman was taller, with curly brown hair like mine, and intense brown eyes. My caseworker, Emily was there too, standing behind the women.

"Shannon, honey, these are the people I was telling you about" Cecilia said. The woman with the blonde hair came up to me first, still smiling. It was such a genuine smile, I couldn't help but smile back, though my shyness kept it small.

"Hi Shannon, I'm Maura, and this is my wife Jane" the lady said, Jane giving me a small wave

"Nice to meet you Shannon" Jane said. I held out my hand stiffly, like my caseworker had told me to when meeting grownups

"Nice to meet you" I said, shaking first Maura's hand, then Jane's. Maura's hands were so soft, softer than my teddy bear had been the first day I got him. Jane's were rougher, and I noticed a small scar on the back of her hand, as well as feeling the match on her palm. They looked at each other, and a little wrinkle appeared on Jane's forehead. I panicked for a minute, grown-ups usually do that when I've done something wrong. But then they both turned back to me, and smiled.

"Why don't we go sit in the living room and all get to know each other, shall we?" Emily said, putting her hand on my shoulder and guiding me into the living room. We sat on one couch while Maura and Jane sat opposite us on the loveseat. Watching them sit practically on top of each other, Maura leaning into Jane, hands entwined, it finally hit me that Maura had introduced Jane as her wife. So they were married. But they were both women.

"How are you married?" I asked. I heard Emily gasp, and Cecilia, who had sat down on the armchair to the left of the couch I was on, suddenly looked nervous. I saw the wrinkle come out in Jane's forehead again, and I realized I must have done something wrong again. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do anything wrong" I rushed out, hoping they wouldn't get mad. Maura, who was directly across from me, reached out her hand and rested it on my knee

"Oh honey, you didn't do anything wrong. Jane and I are married because we love each other." Jane nodded in agreement.

"But I thought girls only married boys" I said, still confused.

"They usually do, but sometimes girls marry girls, and boys marry boys. It's perfectly normal" Maura spoke to me the same way she spoke to Cecilia and Emily, like I was a grown up. Nobody had ever talked to me that way before. It made me really think about what she was saying, and I pursed my lips while I absorbed the new information. When I was done, I nodded my head.

"OK. So why are you here?" I asked, and I heard Emily sigh in relief. I'm not really sure why, but I was focused on Maura and Jane. Jane answered this time

"Well Shannon, since Maura and I are married we decided we wanted children, and since its only the two of us, we thought adopting would be a good idea." Jane also talked to me like a grown-up, and her eyes never left mine while we were talking. I felt like she could see into my soul, but instead of being scared, it made my heart warm. Which was a weird feeling. I was still confused

"So why are you here? There's no babies here, only big kids" Again, that wrinkle in Jane's forehead. Maura answered me this time

"Jane and I talked about it, and we decided that we would rather adopt an older child, since we know that babies get adopted very quickly, and an older child has less of a chance to get adopted."

I nodded my head "OK." I still didn't really get it, but I didn't really care. We continued talking for a little longer, Jane asked me if I liked sports, and her eyes lit up when I said I liked the Red Sox. We talked about that for a while, then about school, what my favorite subjects were, and so on. We talked for so long, finally it was time for lunch, and for Maura and Jane to go.

"Can we come see you tomorrow Shannon?" Maura asked, standing in the doorway, Jane holding open the door. I nodded my head,

"I would like that" I said, smiling. "Can you bring Joe Friday?" in the course of our talking I had learned of Jane's little terrier, and I had never really been in close quarters with a dog before, but I thought they were so cute and cuddly looking. Jane smiled, the corners of her eyes crinkling a little.

"Sure, I'll bring Jo, if that's ok with Cecilia?" she said, looking to my newest foster mom for approval.

"As long as we keep her in the backyard, it should be fine" Cecilia said, nodding her head. I jumped excitedly.

"Yay, I'm so excited!" I said, smiling at Maura and Jane, who smiled back. "See you tomorrow!"

"We'll see you tomorrow Shannon" Maura said. After saying our goodbyes, I looked to Emily.

"Are they gonna be my new moms?" I asked Emily. I trusted Emily, she was the only constant in my life, and she always answered me honestly. She smiled at me, the lines at the corners of her mouth deeper than I remembered.

"Would you like them to be your new moms?" she asked

"Oh yes, they are so nice, and they have a dog and a turtle!" I nodded my head, smiling at the older woman. Emily's smile deepened, and her eyes were shining like they were wet, almost like right before you start crying. Why would Emily be crying? Grown-ups don't cry.

"Well, they might be your new moms baby girl, just maybe."


	2. Chapter Two

"Well, they might be your new moms baby girl, just maybe"

And a week later, they were. The day after they had first come to see me, Jane and Maura came back, this time with Jo Friday, and we had played in the backyard and talked more, and the following Friday Emily the caseworker came to the house with Maura and Jane. They sat me down, and Maura and Jane asked me if I wanted to come live with them, which I answered with a vigorous nod and a polite "yes, please." While I knew that they meant forever, and Emily had told me it meant forever, I still thought in the back of my head that it wouldn't last, that I would do something wrong eventually and they would give me back. So I stayed calm, not letting myself get too excited.

The next day Maura and Jane came to bring me to their house. I had packed my few belongings in my little suitcase, and my school books and Mr. Bear in my backpack, and that was it. Seeing how little I had, Maura had insisted on taking me shopping for some "Proper clothes" as she had called them. But first we had to go "home." It was weird, calling that place "home", the last few places I had just taken to calling "my house", never "home".

Their house was huge. I had never been to Beacon Hill before, all I knew about one of Boston's wealthiest neighborhoods was what I had been told my former foster-siblings. I had thought some of my former foster homes had been nice, but Maura and Jane's house topped them all by a mile. Once inside, they showed me the room that was going to be mine. A small wooden bed with a matching nightstand was against the far wall, and against the left wall was a dresser and bookcase. The right wall had a door leading to my own bathroom, something I couldn't quite fathom at the time. To say I was overwhelmed would be an understatement. I had never been the only kid in the house, foster houses just never worked like that, and I was usually in a group home. Being the only kid in this huge house made me feel so small. As soon as Maura and Jane left me alone, the immense nature of my new situation hit me, and when the two women came to tell me it was time to go shopping for new clothes, they found me curled up in the bottom of my closet, clutching my bear to my chest like a lifeline, eyes shut tight. My breaths were shallow and fast, and I could feel the room begin to spin around me. Thoughts crashing together in my mind, I could hear every foster parent, every counselor, every teacher I had ever had yelling,

You're not good enough

Bad girl

You'll never be anything

No one loves you

Why can't you just be normal

Their voices scrambling together into a dull roar that made my head ache, but that could also have been from my hands that had buried themselves in my hair.

The next thing I remember is a strong pair of arms encircling me

Lifting me

Holding me

And then this, warmth in my chest. Like that time back at the foster home. And the soft sound of Jane whispering in my ear, It's going to be ok, don't worry, you're safe. You're home. We love you.

Warm

Safe

Love

Home.

I could feel my breaths even out as Jane kept whispering, kept holding me tight in her arms, Maura stroking my hair.

I guess I fell asleep, because when I opened my eyes I was in my new bed, fuzzy-headed and bleary-eyed. As I stumbled to the door, I heard Maura and Jane talking

"Panic attacks? She's ten, ten-year-olds don't have panic attacks"

"Jane, we have no idea what she's experienced at those homes, proper care was probably at a minimum at best"

"I thought we didn't assume things Dr. Isles"

"In this case, Detective, I think we do."

I had heard enough. I knew it, they were going to give me back. I turned from the door, and dragged my suitcase from the closet and started filling it with my clothes when I heard my door open. I turned to see who entered.

"Honey, what are you doing?" Jane asked, the wrinkle back in her forehead.

"Just packing, you're giving me back aren't you," I said, my voice matter-of-fact. I watched the wrinkle deepen, and then I knew for sure they weren't keeping me. But then the wrinkle smoothed, and a sad smile formed on Jane's face.

"Oh no sweetheart, we're not giving you back. Ever, you hear me" she said, and for a moment she looked almost scary, angry. She knelt down in front of me so I didn't have to look up at her, and took my hands in her scarred ones. "Maura and I love you, and we adopted you. That means we are keeping you forever." She kissed my hands, and that warmth in my heart came back at her words. But I was still confused.

"But, when you found me, before, I was being bad wasn't I ?" at that Jane shook her head, her hair flying everywhere. I was reminded again how much it looked like mine. Almost like she was really my mother.

"No, you weren't being bad. Does that happen a lot, what happened in the closet?" I shook my head,

"Not really, just when I go to a new house or have a lot of homework or someone is mean" I say, and the wrinkle is back in her forehead. I'm beginning to think it's not because I did something wrong.

"Well, next time it happens, just think of something that makes you happy, and take slow, deep breaths. And when its over, come find me and we'll talk about it ok?" she says, and her eyes are so brown, so dark and deep and any lingering bad feelings vanish. Jane makes me feel safe, I realize, and it's a feeling I don't think I've ever had before. I think I like it. I nod, and that's when Maura comes into the room, eyes shiny. She comes and kneels down next to Jane.

"Everything OK?" Maura asks, looking back and forth between Jane and me. I nodded, a small smile spreading across my face. Everything was going to be ok. I was going to be ok.

The weekend was a blur of shopping, and putting away my new stuff. Jane and Maura had spent all weekend taking me all over Boston, making sure I had everything I needed before starting at my new school on Monday. Maura said I was going to something called a private school, which mean that I needed a uniform, and new shoes to match the dress code. I didn't like the uniform much, navy skirts and crisp white blouses weren't really my style, but Maura and Jane said I could wear whatever I wanted when I wasn't at school, so that made it ok. And then, since it was a new school, Maura insisted I needed all new notebooks and pens and pencils, and a new backpack to put them all in. It was all so overwhelming, but when I felt my breath speed up and my vision blur and get dark around the edges I just remembered what Jane told me, and took slow breaths until it stopped, and then went to talk to her about it. Jane said that she got like that sometimes too, and that what was happening to me is called a panic attack. She said lots of people get them, and it was nothing to hide or be ashamed of. Jane was like no foster mom I had ever had before; she understood what I meant even if I was saying it all wrong, or not talking at all. It was like she was looking straight into my brain, and seeing what I was trying to tell her. Jane understood me, and as the weekend progressed and we spent more time together, I grew to understand Jane more every day. Like that the wrinkle in her forehead sometimes meant I did something wrong, like when I fed Jo from the table or tried to sneak a cookie after dinner, but that it also meant she cared about me, that she was trying to figure out why I was acting the way I was. And that we never talked about the 49ers beating the Patriots in the playoffs, or the Celtics less than great record so far that season. The more time I spent with Jane, the more she really felt like a parent, and a friend.

Maura, on the other hand, confused me the more time I spent with her. She spent the whole weekend dragging me around the city, having me try on frilly skirts and dresses when all I wanted to do was go to the playground down the street from my new home. And she was always trying to make me eat these weird foods that I couldn't even pronounce, and tasted gross. But the part that confused me was that usually when people tried to make me do things, I would end up in a screaming match with them until they gave up and just punished me. But with Maura, every time I said I didn't want to wear something or eat something, she didn't get mad, she would just ask me why, and if I gave a good enough answer, like that the pink silky skirt with lacy frills on it was totally not practical, and I would get it dirty or rip it the first time I wore it, not to mention I hated the color pink, she would just tell me OK, and put it back. But if I couldn't give a good reason, like not eating the quinoa because it looked weird, she would just tell me to try it, and if I didn't like it I didn't have to eat it, but she wished I would because its good for me, instead of threatening me or telling me that I couldn't leave the table until I ate it all. I had never experienced this, adults listening to me. It was all so weird.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry totally forgot to upload the rest of these, here's chapter 3! Shannon starts school.

Sooner than I would have liked, the weekend ended, and it was my first day at my new school. Maura was going to take me, since it was my first day and there was paperwork to fill out or whatever. I was nervous, I had spent all weekend attached to my new caretakers at the hip, I didn't want to spend all day without them. But Jane said both her and Maura would be there to pick me up when school was over, and we could go get ice cream if I was good. So there was that to look forward to.

The day was a blur, and before I knew it I was sitting in the back seat of Jane's police cruiser.

"So, kiddo, how was your first day?" Jane asked as we pulled away from the school.

"It was ok" I answered "Everyone was really nice, and this girl named Sara was my new student buddy, she helped me so I didn't get lost, that school is huge!" that made both Maura and Jane chuckle. The school was huge, exactly what you think of when you think "private school". The school was made up of two large modern brick and glass buildings that housed the separate lower and upper schools, connected by the shared cafeteria, a separate athletic facility with every sport you could think of, and a big old stone house serving as the main office and library. While on my orientation tour, I was told that the main office building used to be the whole school, but as they got bigger and bigger they decided they needed new buildings, and built these new ones a few years ago. It was so big, but I remembered what Jane told me and didn't let myself get overwhelmed, just took deep breaths the whole time, and focused on knowing that Jane and Maura would be here as soon as school was over, and everything would be ok.

"And are your teachers nice?" Maura asked, "You're not behind in any of your classes are you?"

"No, the teachers gave me study guides for the units we're working on so I have all the notes I need that I might have missed." Being only in the 5th grade, I really wasn't behind in anything, or at least nothing that a little help from my teachers couldn't fix. This school was so different from all my other ones. In my previous schools I had always felt like the teachers were out to get me, trying to make me fail, but here, all my new teachers were so nice, they had all talked to me personally after class to make sure I knew what was going on, and give me notes and study guides on things I had missed so I could catch up.

Looking in the rearview mirror, I saw Jane smile, her dark eyes sparkling.

"That's great Shannon, we're really happy you like your new school. Now, who's excited for ice cream?" As we all raised our hands in unison, I felt all traces of leftover panic leave my body. For the first time in as long as I remembered, I felt truly happy. I had almost forgotten what that felt like, happiness.

My life was changing so dramatically in such a short amount of time, it wasn't long before something went wrong. The next few days went by without a hitch, until gym class on Friday. Gym had been my favorite class at my old schools, being taller than most kids I was faster and stronger than them too, and that made me better at most of the games we played. Today we were in the gymnasium, playing basketball. This basketball gym had the standard sized hoops at either end of the court, and then along the sides were special hoops that were lower than the standard, so that the young kids could play and actually have a chance of making a basket.

We had spent the first fifteen minutes or so of class running drills, dribbling and layups and whatnot, and then we had free play for the rest of class. The kids had split up among the four lowered hoops, and I was playing with Sara, my assigned "buddy" from my first day, and some other kids she had introduced me too. Sara had been so friendly my first day, and after discovering that she was a Red Sox fan like me, we had become instant friends. Sara was pretty popular, and she had made sure to introduce me to all her friends, she had at least one in every one of my classes, so I always had a friendly face to sit next to, and ask questions when I didn't understand something.

Everything had been going fine, Sara and her friends and I had mostly just been passing the ball around while they filled me in on all the school gossip, occasionally making a lazy attempt at a basket, when a boy I didn't know casually came walking over to me.

"Hey, it's Shannon, right?" The boy asked. He was shorter than me, with carefully combed sandy-blond hair and a light dusting of freckles over his cheeks. While his question was innocent, there was a glimmer of mischief in his eyes that made me not trust him.

"Yeah, I'm Shannon, Shannon Adams-I mean, Isles-Rizzoli. Shannon Isles-Rizzoli. What's it to you?" I was still getting used to my new last name, Jane and Maura said I didn't need to change it, but I never really liked my last name, it was so common. I had never met another Isles-Rizzoli, and I wanted to be the only one in school. That had made them really happy and teary for some reason, it wasn't that big a deal was it?

"Is it true you're adopted?" the boy asked.

"Yeah, so what?" I was getting annoyed at this point, why was this boy I didn't know asking me these dumb questions. During this first week I had become a bit of a subject to gossip about in the lower school, everyone had been talking about the new girl starting a month into the semester. So this random stranger most likely already knew the answers to his questions, and I was finding it increasingly irritating.

A small smirk had formed on his freckled cheeks as he asked his next question. "Is it true you have two moms?" At this everyone within earshot stopped what they were doing and started staring, at him, at me. I could feel more eyes on me than I was comfortable with, and the smirk on the boys mouth only grew as I answered "Yes, again, so what?" if possible, his smirk grew, and he leaned closer, almost whispering his next question. I could smell his vile breath as he spoke.

"How does it feel, being adopted by a pair of dykes?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a reminder, this is not a new work of mine, just new to this account. Anyways, thank you for reading, and feedback is always appreciated.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath

"How does it feel, being adopted by a pair of dykes?"

I don't remember what happened after that, the next thing I remember after hearing what he said is sitting in the principal's office with a bandage wrapped around my right hand. My guidance counselor, Mr. Morgan, was in the seat next to me. He was an older man with thinning gray hair and kind eyes behind gold-rimmed glasses; I had met him briefly my first day, and was supposed to see him later today to check on how I was adjusting. He told me he was going to wait with me until Jane and Maura arrived, and tried to get me to talk about what happened. I honestly didn't know at first, so I stayed quiet, but as I sat there in silence, I tried to remember.

It came back in flashes, the stench of the boy's breath, his question.

And then I was on top of him, holding him down with one hand while I punched with the other.

The gym teacher dragging me off of him,

Kids chanting "Fight, fight!"

Oh man.

"I messed up big time, didn't I?" I said quietly, glancing at Mr. Morgan. He sighed deeply,

"Shannon, I'm going to wait until your mother are here to explain what happened, but I want you to know that yes, what you did was wrong, but what Reggie did was wrong also." So that's what the stupid boy's name was, Reggie. I thought back to the last thing Reggie said to me before I hit him.

"Mr. Morgan, what's a dyke?" I asked. He inhaled sharply at the curse word, but didn't speak. "I know it's a bad word, and we aren't supposed to say it, but what does it mean?" Another deep sigh. Is that all this guy does, sigh?

"It's a very bad word for a woman who loves another woman, as opposed to a man." Mr. Morgan said plainly, and it sounded like he was struggling to keep his tone even as he spoke.

"Like Jane and Maura?" I said. I couldn't stop hearing Reggie's voice in my head, saying such a mean word about them.

"Yes Shannon, like them. Some people think that love only exists between a man and a woman, and when people like your mothers contradict that thought, some people get very upset."

"But why? Jane and Maura are so nice, why would Reggie call them a bad word like that?"

"He's probably never met your moms, all he knows is that he thinks they are doing something wrong, and that is very wrong of him."

I stayed silent after that. I was so confused about the whole situation. Jane and Maura were the nicest people I had ever met, they gave me a home when I never thought I would have one, bought me clothes and made me dinner and helped me with my homework. And slowly, they were becoming something I had never had, parents. How could anyone call two people who were so good such a bad word? I was so angry at Reggie for calling them that word, for being so stupid and mean. And confused as to why loving someone like Jane and Maura loved each other was a bad thing to some people. It was obvious from the day I met them that Jane and Maura loved each other, more than any foster parents I had had, or other grown-up couples that I had met in my life. Why was it bad? Why would Reggie say that they were wrong for loving each other?

I was brought out of my thoughts by the sound of yelling coming from outside the door. The door slammed open, and Jane burst into the room, followed by Maura and the Principal, Mr. Garran. I stayed in my seat, afraid of how Jane and Maura would react. Jane looked furious, her eyes were wild and her hair was flying in every direction, I could practically see the steam pouring out of her ears. Maura was frantically trying to get Jane to calm down, and the principal had moved to behind his desk, drawing out a pair of file folders. I pulled my knees up to my chest, afraid of what I thought Jane might do to me. She just looked so mad, and I knew it was because I punched that boy. I was going back to the foster home for sure.

But as soon as those thoughts passed through my head, Jane was kneeling in front of me, grabbing my hands that were gripping my knees, turning my bandaged knuckles over in her scarred hands, inspecting me for damage.

"Oh my god Shannon are you ok? Oh god your hand, Maura look at her hand, is it bad?" All anger was gone from her face, and she sounded almost afraid. The wrinkle in her forehead was back, the one that meant she was worried. Jane was looking back and forth between Maura and me, and then got up, turning to face the principal while Maura came over and gently looked at my bandaged hand. The way she handled my hands, like they were made of glass, like I was this precious delicate thing that could shatter at any moment, like I was something to protect, it made my heart warm again with what I was quickly learning to recognize as 'love'. It was, like so many things lately, almost overwhelming.

"She'll be fine Jane, it's just some scrapes and bruises" Maura said after thoroughly inspecting what she could of my hand, peeking under the bandages and gently pressing the various bones, checking for fractures most likely. She patted my knee, and stood up to go next to Jane.

"Yeah Jane, I'm fine" I added, smiling weakly. "It's my fault anyways, I hit Reggie"

"Shannon what exactly happened honey?" Maura asked, looking as worried as Jane.

"Yes Shannon, I haven't heard your recollection of events yet, what happened?" Principal Garran asked, sitting down in the chair behind his desk. I took a deep breath, trying to piece together all the bits in my head.

"We were playing basketball, and then Reggie came over, and he was asking me all these dumb questions." I looked around the room, and saw everyone looking at me, calmly waiting for me to continue. It felt weird, having so many eyes on me. Like in the gym. "And then he called Jane and Maura a bad word, so I hit him." Maura gasped as I finished, grabbing Jane's hand and bringing her other up to cover her mouth. The wrinkle in Jane's forehead deepened, and she came back over to me, squatting down so we were level with each other. "What did he say Shannon? Its ok, you can tell us." The look of caring and concern in her and Maura's faces was too much, I didn't want to upset them with the bad word, it hurt just to think about it. I could feel the moisture gathering in my eyes, and I squeezed them shut, taking deep breaths until I knew I could talk without crying.

"He called you and Maura…dykes" I said, my voice barely coming out above a whisper. Maura looked at Jane, looking puzzled. She hadn't heard what I said.

"Dykes, Maura. That little shit called us dykes." Jane said, teeth clenched in her fury. And then I learned a new thing about Jane's ever-expressive face. When she was furious, truly enraged, a vein just above her right eyebrow would start to throb. That's when you knew she was thinking very seriously about shooting someone. I saw tears fill Maura's eyes, and she came to crouch down next to Jane, putting her hands on top of both of ours. Her bottom lip was trembling, but as she looked at our joined hands her eyes got darker, harder. Her lip stopped trembling, and her jaw set in a determined line. She got up, smoothed down her skirt, and faced the principal.

"And what is being done about the boy?" she asked, and her voice was a tone I had never heard before. It was cold, clinical. Demanding. Principal Garran looked taken aback at Maura's cold demeanor, but I knew it was just because she was being like a mama bear, protecting her cub, doing what was necessary. The now nervous man cleared his throat and adjusted his watch before speaking.

"Well, as of now he has not been punished, just sent home for medical reasons, but due to this new information the proper punishment will be administered." He said, keeping a relaxed, even tone. Jane stood up when he was done, joining Maura in standing in front of the large polished wood desk.

"And Shannon?" She asked curtly, her jaw set into a similar line to Maura's.

"Originally it was recommended to me that, as it had appeared that Shannon struck first, that Shannon receive a week's detention, to be served after a day's suspension, but in light of these new circumstances, I'm going to say two days of lunch detention, to be served this coming Monday and Tuesday." At this Jane made an indignant noise, and was about to speak when Principal Garran interrupted "I'm sorry Mrs. Rizzoli-Isles, but while Reggie's behavior was abhorrent, violence is never the answer, and this school has a very strict policy on fighting, no matter the circumstances. Shannon should have talked to a teacher, not given the poor boy a concussion. The decision is final, and if we have nothing further to discuss, you and your wife can take Shannon home now."

Jane looked a little upset still, but she nodded in agreement. "Alright, let's go gang." I got up silently and followed her and Maura out, giving Mr. Morgan the guidance counselor a thankful look on my way out, getting a small smile in return.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang goes home

The ride home was silent, with Jane and Maura exchanging cryptic looks when we were stopped at red lights. When we got home, I carefully hung up my new navy blue wool coat, and started to go upstairs to change out of my uniform when Jane stopped me, saying we needed to have a talk, "as a family". So we sat at the dining room table, Jane at the head with Maura and I at either side. Maura spoke up first

"Shannon, you know we love you, and only want what's best for you correct?" she asked. I nodded my head, but didn't look her or Jane in the eye. I was ashamed, I felt like a failure. I had promised myself that I wouldn't get into any more fights, that I would be good for Jane and Maura, but I had failed them. I looked down at my bandaged hand that was resting in my lap, not wanting to see the looks of disappointment that I was sure were on Jane and Maura's faces. They were definitely going to give me back now.

Jane's warm, slightly rough hand gently touching my cheek brought me out of my reverie.

"Hey, kid, tell us what's going on in that head of yours" she said, wiping away a tear when it fell. I moved my face away from her hand, even though all I really wanted to do was lean into it, lean into her and Maura. But one of the most important things you learn, growing up in the foster system, is how to distance yourself from people you might care about, because one day you were going to leave them, or they would leave you. It was an inevitable part of life, leaving.

"You're going to give me back now, aren't you" I asked quietly, my eyes still locked on the crisp white bandage wrapped around my hand.

"Shannon, no. Look at me, kid" Jane said, gently tilting my face so I was looking her in the eyes. Her fierce gaze held me captive as she continued to speak. "I told you this before, and we will keep telling you this as long as you need us to. We are a family now, and we are never letting you go. Ever. Ok?" her voice was low and especially raspy with emotion.

I nodded, "Ok" I said, my voice still small. Jane gave me a tight smile, and I saw a similar one on Maura's face. Mirror images, both showing caring, concern, love. That's when it really sank in: these amazing women were my mothers, and I loved them. I didn't have to distance myself, because I wasn't going anywhere. I could feel their love, feel it in my heart, and feel it spread, this warmth, this sense of belonging, I could feel it in my toes and my fingers and just everywhere. It was a sensation I had never experienced before, and I knew I would always cherish it. My eyes filled with tears, but this time they were happy ones. I had never been this happy before, happy to the point of tears, and as jumped out of my chair and ran around the table so I could reach both of them, hug both of them, I saw the same kind of tears in both of their eyes.

"Thank you" I whispered, and they both nodded, Maura reaching to brush my wild curls out of my face, wiping my tears away with her thumb at the same time. "Anytime, darling, anytime" she said softly. After the three of us composed ourselves, I smiled, remembering something.

"So are we still having the party tomorrow?" I asked. Jane and Maura told me we were going to have a party at the house so that I could meet the rest of my new family. All week I had been hearing about my new uncles, baby cousin, and grandparents. Maura's parents were flying in from somewhere in Europe just to meet me, and I had been looking forward to meeting them all week. Of course, I was also terrified, what if they didn't like me, or thought I was weird? But at the same time, the prospect of having a real family, like the ones I'd seen on TV, with rowdy family dinners and goofy uncles and doting grandparents, it was all I'd ever wanted my whole life. To have a family to love me, and to love in return.

"Of course, but there is going to be a punishment, in addition to what Principal Garran said" Maura said, "Violence is never tolerated in this house, even if that boy was also wrong. So in addition to your lunch detention, no TV for the whole weekend, you understand?" Maura kept a stern tone, but she didn't sound angry, just… disappointed. And that made me feel even worse. I knew hitting was wrong, and I had promised myself that I would stay out of trouble at my new school, and look where I got myself. A week into school and I already had detention. I knew I deserved my punishment, and that it was fair, so I just nodded my head.

"I'm really sorry Maura, I'll never do it again, I promise" I said earnestly, looking her in the eyes so she knew I was telling the truth. Maura smiled at my words, and I felt the warmth come back to my heart, like Maura was sending me her love through our eye contact and her smile.

"Now" Jane clapped her hands, startling Maura and me out of our gazing. "There's a Celtics game on in an hour, do you think you can get most of your homework done by then?" she said, looking at me with a playful twinkle in her eyes and a smirk on her mouth.

"Totally!" I said, excited that the serious, uncomfortable conversation was over. I raced over to the foyer where I had dropped my backpack, and brought it to the kitchen bar, where I had taken to doing my homework. Since most nights it was Maura who cooked dinner, and she had proven herself a better resource when it came to homework than Jane, the breakfast bar was the perfect location to do homework, with Maura in easy reach.

It was true that up to this point I had bonded with Jane more than Maura, we just had more in common, but those first few nights, having Maura there to help me with homework helped to bring us closer. At first Maura seemed almost alien to me, I just couldn't understand her motivations, couldn't relate to her. But with every math problem solved or history question answered, Maura became less foreign, less intimidating, and more familiar, and maternal.

With Maura's help I got my homework done just after tip-off, and I spent the rest of the evening watching the Celtics game with Jane, it was against the Knicks so we got to eat dinner on the couch, Jane insisting that pausing a Celtics-Knicks game was bad luck. Maura joined us for dinner, and stayed for the rest of the game. It reminded me of the time I spent in one of my foster homes, the dad had been really nice, and when I had shown an interest in baseball he had taken it to heart, spending the rest of the season teaching me all he knew, and fostering my love of the Red Sox. Unfortunately, right after the season ended he got really sick, and he and his wife couldn't take care of us foster kids anymore, and the four of us had gotten sent to new foster homes, getting split up in the process. It had been hard, getting separated from all of them, he had been the nicest foster parent I had ever had, and the other kids had all been pretty nice. It was the closest thing I had to a family before Jane and Maura, but now that I had them, all my previous foster homes, even that one, paled in comparison.

And the same way Mr. Owens, or whatever his name was, had taught me about baseball, so Jane had taken it upon herself to teach me her wealth of knowledge about basketball. I had watched enough to know the gist of what was happening, but most of the technicalities had gone over my head, and Jane spent most of the game explaining the intricate details of basketball, glad to have an interested audience for a change, according to her. I was fascinated, by the game, but also by Jane. The way her eyes would light up when the Celtics made a basket, or the way her brow would furrow when she yelled at the referee when she disagreed with him, gesturing with her beer bottle and throwing up her free hand when a player missed a basket, turning to me to make sure I'd seen what she had seen, and explaining what had happened when I would shake my head no. She was so passionate, and I was beginning to see that she was passionate with everything she did, never doing anything passively or half-heartedly. And the way she was so patient with me, explaining to me different rules even if she had already told me them, never getting frustrated when I forgot a player's name or what kind of defense was being played. Sitting there on the couch next to Jane, draped in throw blanket, with Maura on the armchair closest to Jane, I felt so at peace, like nothing bad could happen, that warmth still there in my heart. This is what a real family is like.

The game had been close, going into overtime, and at some point I guess I had fallen asleep. I was awoken by the sensation of being lifted by a pair of strong arms, and a soft hand gently brushing my hair out of my face.

"Poor girl, she must be tired from all the excitement of today" a soft voice, most likely Maura's, whispered. They hadn't noticed I was awake, and I was too tired to correct them, so I just kept my eyes shut, stayed still, and listened as we climbed the stairs.

"Yeah. I know I can't tell her this, but I'm really proud of her for standing up to that little shit Reggie today. She definitely taught him a lesson, I don't think he's ever gonna mess with our girl again" Jane said, her voice low and raspy, I guess trying not to wake me. I could hear the pride in her voice, and it took all of my self-control not to smile at her statement.

A giggle, "Jane! Don't encourage violence."

"She can't hear me Maur, she's asleep. That's why I said it now, instead of before."

"Can I tell you a secret Jane?"

"Sure Maura"

"I'm proud of her too. That Reggie got what was coming to him."

"Why Dr. Isles-Rizzoli, are you condoning violence?"

At this point they had reached my room, and Jane gently set me down on my bed.

"Should I wake her? She should change into pajamas, right?" Jane said softly,

"Oh but she looks so peaceful. She's in shorts and a t-shirt, that's basically pajamas, she'll be fine" another chuckle, this one deep and throaty, most likely Jane.

"Well, if in your professional medical opinion its ok to let our daughter sleep in shorts and a t-shirt instead of pajamas, then alright."

"Mmm, our daughter. I like the sound of that."

"Me too Maur, me too"

I smiled to myself, face buried in my pillow. I liked the sound of that, too


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Party time

The day of the party dawned bright and clear, and I was awoken by the sound of pots and pans banging against each other, and the aroma of fresh pancakes. As I bounded down the stairs, excited about the festivities that would be happening later, I came across quite the sight: Maura and Jane, standing in the middle of the kitchen, covered in what looked like half-stirred pancake batter, I could still see lumps of flour and unbeaten eggs in their hair and clothes. I couldn't help but giggle at the sight, and as they turned their heads away from glaring playfully at each other to look for the source of the sound, their childish grins turned into twin expressions of shame as they realized I had caught them. We were frozen, Jane in mid-throw, a wooden spoon in her hand, Maura scooping some of the sticky batter off of her apron.

"Heyyyy Munchkin, did we wake you?" Jane asked, lowering her weapon. There was still a glint of mischief in her eyes, and that signature smirk was threatening to take over her small smile. I shook my head no, as Maura washed her hands and came over to the breakfast bar

"Here, these pancakes actually managed to cook before someone decided to flick batter at me. Do you want some syrup?" Maura said, her face flushed, flashing me a grin as she gestured towards the refrigerator.

I nodded, "Yes please" I said as I sat down, watching the way Maura and Jane interacted as Jane started cleaning up, while Maura retrieved the syrup. The playful looks between them, the way Jane bobbed her head as she cleaned to a tune only she could hear, while Maura tried to regain her composure, smoothing down her apron after she brought me the syrup, carefully inspecting herself for more bits of batter that she might need to clean off. While I ate my breakfast Maura and Jane cleaned, never speaking, but still communicating through looks and gentle touches. It was like watching a dance, Jane washing dishes and Maura cleaned piles of gooey batter off the counter-tops, never rushing, never bumping into each other. Like they instinctively knew where the other was. I was mesmerized, if something like this had happened in one of my foster homes it would have been nothing but chaos, but this, this was something completely different. It was calm, controlled, the way Maura and Jane cleaned up after their little batter war. Like a choreographed dance. When they were done Jane brought Maura into her arms, kissing her lightly before turning her head to look at me.

"So, you ready to meet the rest of your family?" she asked, her brown eyes doing that thing where they looked like they were staring into my soul. The slight wrinkle in her brow let me know she was worried, probably worried I would have another "attack". But I didn't feel that way, my vision was clear, breath normal. I was just excited, they had all sounded so cool when Maura and Jane had told me about them, especially Frankie and Tommy, my new uncles. Jane told me they loved baseball too, and if it was nice enough outside we could play a game of catch. Maura clearing away my plate snapped me out of my thoughts, and I saw Jane still standing there, waiting. I smiled, a big one this time.

"Yeah, they sound awesome" I said. Jane seemed relieved by my reply, but didn't seem completely at ease. Moving from the middle of the kitchen, she came to stand across the bar from me.

"Look, Shannon, my family is big, and loud, and rowdy, and they are going to ask you a lot of questions and want to know everything about you. I've told them to keep a lid on it, but I know they won't be able to control themselves, they are very excited to meet you" she said, keeping eye contact, trying to convey how much she cared, and I felt enveloped in a blanket of…protectiveness I suppose is the best word for it. Like she wanted to protect me from what might happen. "And if you start to feel like you did the other day, in the closet, I want you to come straight to me or Maura, whoever is closest, and we'll help you, ok kiddo?" The warmth in my heart came back, and I knew that it all came from a place of love. Jane just wanted to protect me from another "attack", and it felt so nice to be understood. In my foster homes, whenever I had an "attack", my foster parents would just assume I was faking it to get out of chores, or homework, and I didn't know enough about what was happening to me to tell them otherwise. Now that I had a name for these instances, and ways to keep myself from having them, I felt much more secure, safe, at ease. Before, I was always on edge, I never knew when something would set off an attack, and sometimes I would have those feelings of panic for days. I wouldn't be able to eat, sleep, or concentrate in school. It was awful, but here with Jane and Maura, I knew I could handle it, because I had them to help me, to talk to about it afterwards, to stroke my hair and whisper words of encouragement during. Just knowing that, knowing that no matter what happens today, that Jane and Maura would be there, was the greatest feeling in the world.

I couldn't contain all the emotions flowing through me, I had to let some of it out, let Jane and Maura know how much it all meant to me. I jumped down from the stool, and ran around the breakfast bar, grabbing Jane in a hug, squeezing as hard as I could, Jane letting out a small "oomph!" at the impact. I buried my face in the soft gray t-shirt she was wearing, inhaling the unique mixture of lavender, laundry detergent, and a scent that was just Jane, being comforted by the aroma. "Thank you" I mumbled into her stomach, and I felt her hands, one resting gently on my shoulder, the other stroking my sleep-mussed curls. "You're welcome kiddo" was her reply. I let go of Jane, and saw Maura standing by the sink, leaning against the shiny metal of the dishwasher, watching us. I went over to Maura, and wrapped my arms around her as well. I knew that I wasn't as comfortable with Maura as I was with Jane, but she was my new mother as well, and I loved her just as much. I hugged her with all my strength, soaking in her scent as well, different from Jane's, but soothing all the less. "Thank you Maura" I said, looking up at her. I could see tears in her eyes, and she wiped at them, sniffling a little before she replied "You're welcome, Shannon"

A clap from Jane's direction made us both jump, and we laughed as we turned to face Jane, breaking the embrace. I could see Jane's eyes were shiny too with unshed tears, but she didn't let that phase her as she reminded us that the whole family would be here in a little less than two hours,

"And that's just enough time for Maura to get ready" Jane said, her eyes twinkling with laughter at Maura's indignant huff of "I do not take that long to get ready! ... Anymore". And at that we all raced upstairs to get ready.

Twenty minutes later I was showered, teeth brushed, hair combed, and dressed in a new pair of jeans that actually made it all the way down to my ankles, new socks that I hadn't worn holes into yet, and a new baby-blue polo shirt, my new sneakers on my feet. The outfit had been picked out by Maura the night before, when she had found me standing in front of my closet, mesmerized by all the clothes that had seemed to magically appear over the last week, unable to pick something out. I had told her that all the new clothes were unnecessary, that I would just outgrow them, but she shook her head at me, smiling.

"Every girl has to have a well-stocked wardrobe, so she can be ready for any situation" She had said. Her smile was infectious, and I couldn't help returning it. Even though I thought it was ridiculous and excessive to own more than one pair of jeans, or to have the same polo shirt in different colors, I had to give it to Maura, she always managed to pick clothes I liked after that first shopping day. There were very limited amounts of pink, and absolutely no frills or lace. Though I had agreed that the jeans with the rhinestones sewn on the back pockets were really cute, and made me feel special, and girly. It was those jeans I wore today, and I looked at myself in front of the mirrored doors of my closet, making sure nothing was wrinkled or out of place. There wasn't much I could do with my hair, Jane had given me a special cream that she used on her hair to keep it from getting frizzy, but even then my hair, laying just to the bottoms of my shoulder-blades, was wild. It stuck out in some places, and all the combing and patting down with my hands didn't do diddly squat. But there was nothing I could do about, so I shrugged at myself, and continued looking my clothes for wrinkles.

A small knock at the door halted my assessment, and I saw Maura standing in my doorway. She smiled, eyes roving over me, no doubt doing her own quick inspection. Her smile widened as she finished, I guess I passed.

"Jane's in the shower, I was just about to go do my hair but I figured I would check on you first, see how you were doing" she said, walking over to my bed and sitting on it. She smoothed my carefully made covers, a habit I guess, before continuing. "Are you sure you're ready? Jane's family can be…overwhelming, I know the first time I saw them all together, it was crazy. And them, in addition to my parents, and our friends from work, if it's too much just tell me, we won't get mad." Her voice was shaky, unsteady, as if she was searching for the right words to say. Her brow was furrowed, and she was twisting the rings on her right hand, she looked as nervous as I felt. But it was a good nervous, like when it was the bottom of the ninth and the Sox were down by a run, two outs, batter on third. Like the whole world was pausing for a moment, waiting to see what would happen. Would they win? Or fail? But I was the batter at the plate, and everything rested on my shoulders, on how well I performed. Before, this would have terrified me, but now I could feel this energy buzzing in my bones, and I knew I could handle it. Because I had people rooting for me, and I couldn't let them down. I couldn't let Jane and Maura down.

"I'm fine Maura, really. Everyone sounds really cool, I'm excited to meet them, I promise" I said, and watched as Maura seemed to relax, a smile spreading across her face.

I promise I won't fail you.

\--------------------

Before I knew it, the doorbell was ringing, and the first of our guests began to arrive. It was Maura's parents, Constance and Richard. I had tried to call them Mr. and Mrs. Isles, but they had insisted that it I wasn't going to call them "Grandma" and "Grandpa" yet, I might as well call them by their first names. They were very nice, Constance reminded me a lot of Maura, with her careful composure, and the way she seemed to inspect everyone and everything. Richard also reminded me a lot of Maura, but the warmer parts of her, the way she always seemed to know what I was feeling, and the way she could warm my whole heart with a smile. Maura had told me that she was adopted, like me, and interacting with them I could see how kind and generous they were, they must have been great parents, adopting Maura and raising her to be so nice and thoughtful and smart.

The next person to arrive was Jane's mother, Angela. The second Jane had opened the door Angela had burst in, a whirlwind of energy, yelling about her "new grandbaby" and asking loudly where I was. I had been in the living room, still talking with Constance and Richard, but all the noise of Angela's entrance had drawn the three of us to the front door. The minute Angela saw me she swept me into her arms, crushing me against herself in her enthusiasm. Only after Jane's yells of "Ma! You're crushing her!" did she let go, holding me at arm's length, looking me over with sharp brown eyes that reminded me a lot of Jane's. They were lighter, but they help that same twinkle of mischief, and had that same ability to look past everything, into my very soul.

"Janie what have you been feeding this poor girl, she's skin and bones!" Angela said, clucking at her daughter, who turned bright red at the nickname.

"Ma, she's only been living with us a week, give me a break!" Jane said, glaring at her mother, that annoyed wrinkle back in her forehead. Angela just shook her head, turning back to me.

"Well I see what Maura said about you looking just like Jane, its uncanny! You've definitely got some Italian blood in you. And don't worry, I baked a big batch of cannoli's, we'll get you filled out properly in no time!" She said, gesturing to Maura, who was walking towards the kitchen, her arms laden with several large Tupperware containers.

"What's a cannoli, Angela?" I asked, and the entire room went quiet. Angela's eyebrows shot up almost to her hairline, her hand clapped over her mouth.

"Oh poor child, you mean to tell me you've lived in Boston you're entire life and you've never had a cannoli?" she asked, her voice cracking and lowered to just above a whisper. I shook my head. "Well, we'll just have to fix that right now" she said, clapping her hands. She put her hands on my shoulder, rotating me so I was facing the kitchen, pushing me towards her intended destination. "And"she said, leaning down to whisper in my ear, "When you're ready, you call me Nonna, ok?" I nodded, and allowed Angela to teach me the ways of the fabled cannoli.

Halfway through my second cannoli, Frankie, Barry, and Vince arrived. As Jane introduced me to them, they each handed me a gift that they had brought, "to welcome you to the family" Frankie had said. Frankie brought me a bright red Red Sox cap, Barry gave me a blue robot doll, and Vince, a furry stuffed dog. I put on the Red Sox cap, and Jane put the robot and plush dog on the dining room table for later. Jane said that they were all my uncles, but only Frankie was her actual brother. When I asked about it, Jane had explained that family isn't always by blood, or adoption, but sometimes people come into your life, and you share so much with them that they become more than friends, or co-workers, and since Vince, Barry and Jane had all worked together as police officers for so long, they were family now. Frankie was a police officer too, and the party was also to celebrate his recent promotion to detective.

Suzie and Riley were next, they were really nice. Suzie talked a lot like Maura, with that same matter-of-fact tone and lack of colloquialisms, and Riley was cool, she didn't let any of the guys get away with any of their jokes, dishing out good-humored insults as good as she was getting.

Tommy and TJ were the last to arrive. TJ was the cutest four-year-old I had ever met! Usually little kids bothered me, as the only older girl in most of my foster homes, helping with the younger kids was usually part of my chores, and I had always hated it, all the crying and various bodily functions that they couldn't really control yet. But TJ was cool, at four he could do pretty much everything himself, and could talk just fine, so we had fun together, playing with my new toys and running around the house chasing Jo Friday. And Tommy was really nice too, TJ looked just like him, they both had the trademark Rizzoli smirk, equal parts sincerity and mischief.

The rest of the party went off without a hitch, everyone taking turns to talk to me, careful not to overwhelm me with too many people surrounding me at the same time. Everyone was so kind and welcoming, my mouth hurt with all the smiling I was doing. Not once did I start to feel the least bit 'panicky', all I felt was the love and warmth that came from being surrounded by family.

At one point I was in the middle of running through the living room chasing TJ when I noticed Jane and Maura in the kitchen. Maura was leaning back against Jane, who was in turn leaning on the counter, and they were just silently watching everyone with matching smiles and looks of satisfaction on their faces. I stopped my pursuit of my new cousin, and went over to them.

"Is everything ok? You're not talking to anyone?" I asked. Jane and Maura being quiet was…odd. Something I wasn't used to, especially since they hadn't stopped moving and talking and laughing today since the first guests had arrived. Maura just nodded,

"Everything is fine hun, we just like watching everyone have a good time. How are you doing? There are a lot of people here, you ok?" Maura asked, eyes slightly narrowed, her arm muscles flexing under her breezy white blouse as she tightened her hold on Jane's arms around her, Jane's hands increasing their grip slightly in response. I flashed them a smile, the tugging at the corners of my mouth finally winning over my self-control. Smiling just came so easy here, with them, with my new family filling my new home. I used to go weeks without finding anything to smile at, and here, with Jane and Maura and Constance and Richard and Angela and my new uncles and cousin, it was so simple, so easy, and effortless. Smiling was the only way I knew to help keep my heart from overflowing with all these feelings of love and comfort. It was a way to share that love, these new emotions that made my heart warm, a way to let Maura and Jane and the rest of this big crazy family that had been thrust upon me that I felt the love they were giving me, and that I appreciated it, and that I felt the same. I was still learning how to show Maura and Jane that I did, in fact, love them, I just never knew how to show love until they came along, never felt the need to tell anyone that I loved them. But with Jane and Maura, I felt that urge, that need to show them that I loved them as much as they loved me.

Looking at them, at the love that they had for each other, for their big crazy family, for me, I just had to show them how I felt. I went up to Maura, wrapping my arms around her, reaching as far as I could manage so that Jane was included in the hug as well, burying my head in Maura's chest.

"I love you", came out of my mouth before I knew it, barely above a whisper. I felt Jane and Maura's hands, wrapping around my shoulders, my head. Since my head was still pressed against Maura's chest I couldn't tell whose hands were whose, but it didn't matter. They were hands that belonged to my parents, not foster parents, not temporary guardians, or social workers. My parents.

"We love you too kiddo" came Jane's reply, her voice raspy with emotion. This past week, especially after the incident at school, I had been closed off, not really talking, giving the briefest answers possible when asked a question. It was hard, in the foster homes I was always told to just keep quiet, don't make any trouble, and leave everyone alone. But Maura and Jane were unlike any foster parents I had ever had, they really wanted to talk to me, know what I was thinking, what was going on in my life. I was still adjusting to this new way of communicating, and I knew that this was a good first step. It had been hard, keeping all of my emotions and feelings bottled up inside, afraid that if they really knew what was going on, they wouldn't like me, or they would get annoyed with all of my talking, and give me back. But I knew now that they weren't like that, that adopting me was forever, that no matter what, we were a family now.

After a minute or so I let go, stepping back to look back up at my mothers. My mothers. It was difficult thinking of them as that. Not foster moms, not guardians. Mothers. Parents. Both Jane and Maura were wiping moisture away from their eyes, Jane coming around from behind Maura and wrapping me in a proper hug, lifting me up so I could rest my head on her shoulder, wrapping my skinny legs around her waist, burying my head in her hair, my arms around her shoulders. I breathed in her scent, that smell of lavender and something I was quickly starting to associate with home.

"Do you want me to put you down" Jane whispered, turning her head to look at me. I shook my head, burrowing back into her neck while tightening my monkey-like grip on her. I heard Jane chuckle softly, and felt her gently rub my back while swaying slightly to the music that was drifting into the kitchen from the living room. I felt a pair of soft hands touch my face, just fingertips at first, but as I looked up, they flattened out, thumbs rubbing at my temples. I expected it to be Maura, and was surprised when it turned out to be Angela instead.

"Hi sweet girl, I came to get you for dinner, are you hungry?" Angela said softly, her blue eyes crinkling at the corners as she smiled. I nodded, not really in the mood for talking anymore. My stomach growled at the mention of food, and I felt more than heard Jane's laugh. " You're stomach agrees with you, come on kiddo, you might be light but I don't feel like carrying you all the way to the living room like this, you better get down" she said, bending over so I didn't have to jump. Once I was down, I looked up, my eyes moving between Jane and Angela. On the surface, they didn't look a lot alike, their eyes were different colors, and Angela's face was rounder, less hard edges and sharp planes than Jane. But they had matching looks of love, and a fierce protectiveness behind their eyes.

Smiling, I turned and went to join everyone in the dining room, where Maura was just finishing setting up a buffet of sorts. There were all sorts of dishes laid out in matching plates and platters and bowls, I didn't know what most of them are, but they all smelled delicious, and at the end of the table was a giant platter of Angela's cannoli. My mouth watered, and I looked to Maura, unsure of how to tackle the feast in front of me. She smiled, understanding the confusion I'm sure was written all over my face, and got a plate from the pile at the head of the table.

"Want me to make you a plate?" she asked, smile widening at my enthusiastic head nod, still not in the mood to talk more than necessary. Maura understood, and we walked around the table together, her explaining what each dish was, and gauging from my silent reactions whether or not I wanted it. I was not feeling particularly picky, my stomach grumbling and growling the whole time we walked around the table, and by the time we got to the cannoli's my plate was piled high with all sorts of traditional Italian deliciousness, courtesy of Angela, with a little bit of salad at Maura's insistence. I liked salad just fine, but when compared to the plethora of Rizzoli family goodness, salad just seemed pointless. I looked at the cannoli's, my despair at not having enough room on my plate to fit any sending Maura into a fit of giggles. I looked at her indignantly, but that only set her off more, she had to put my plate down on the table to make sure she didn't drop it.

"Don't worry honey" she managed to say between giggle fits "You can come back after you eat what's on your plate, the cannoli's will still be here, I promise" my gaze shifted between my plate, the platter of treats, and Maura while I contemplated, and once I decided that she was right, I took my plate and went over to the breakfast bar to eat.

A second helping of Angela's famous gnocchi and two cannoli's later, I thought I was about to burst. I couldn't remember ever eating that much in my life, and as the food settled in my stomach I could feel my whole body grow heavy, my head drooping as I put my plate in the sink. I went back to the living room, where Jane, Barry, Vince, and Riley were having a loud and animated conversation about the best Red Sox pitcher of all time, stopping when I reached the arm of the couch Jane was perched on. She stopped mid-rant, looking down at me, smiling when she saw me rubbing my eyes.

"You tired kiddo?" she said, and I just nodded sleepily. Before I knew what was happening, Jane had swept me into her arms, my limbs instinctively wrapping themselves around her frame, my eyes closing as I buried my head in her dark curls. "Alright, time for bed". As we walked out of the room, towards the stairs, I heard Vince say "I never thought I would see the day when Jane Rizzoli would stop in the middle of a Red Sox debate to put a kid to bed. Must be a special kid" he remarked, lightly teasing. I felt Jane turn around to face Vince,

"Oh, she is Korsak, believe you me. She's changing my life Vince" she said softly, that slight hoarseness in her voice becoming more pronounced. "This little girl is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me, outside of Maura" she kissed my hair as we turned back around, going up the stairs to my room.

Just as I finished changing into pajamas, with Jane's help after much fumbling and stumbling, Maura came in. "Vince told me you were putting her to bed, I thought I'd come and join you" she said, her voice soft as she walked over, helping get the last bit of pajama bottom over my foot. I swear, those things were designed to keep your feet trapped in them forever, they were impossible. As I hopped into bed, Maura pulled the covers over me while sitting at the foot of my bed.

"Did you have fun today?" she asked. Still not in the mood to talk, I nodded my head slowly, feeling the warmth and darkness of sleep pulling at the back of my head, darkening the corners of my vision. Maura leaned over, kissing me on the forehead, brushing her hand over my curls as she stood up. "Sleep well, we love you" she whispered, Jane wrapping her arm around her as they left, turning off the light, but leaving the door open a crack, just the way I had requested a few nights ago. As I listened to the slight creaking of the stairs at the weight of Jane and Maura's steps, I felt the whole day wash over me, and I quickly succumbed to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

I woke up to the sound of low, hushed voices coming from the other side of my door. I closed my eyes, listening carefully.

"Come on, it's almost 9:30, she's gotta be up by now" said a familiar male voice that I couldn't quite place. My grip on Mr. Bear tightened, fear keeping me stock still in bed. If I made no noise, maybe he would go away.

" Francesco Rizzoli Junior if you wake up my daughter I am going to kill you. It's Sunday, let her sleep in if she wants to!" Jane's raspy voice floated under the door like a song, the smoky tendrils of panic getting blown away by her protective tone. So it was Uncle Frankie on the other side of the door, not a murderer. Good. I slipped out of bed, creeping closer to the door to hear better.

"But Janie, we gotta see where she's at to know what team to put her on during summer baseball league at the Y, and we can't do that if she's asleep. Besides, she's ten, shouldn't she be up by now?"

Baseball? I remembered Jane saying something about playing in a 10-12 year-olds baseball league over the summer, but why would they be talking about it now? Unless…

"Baseball!" I yelled, throwing my door opening, laughing at the startled looks on Jane and Frankie's faces. They were dressed similarly in jeans and baseball shirts, Jane's had "Boston Homicide" written across it, and Frankie's was adorned with the Red Sox logo. "I'm up, I'm up, are we going to play baseball? Can we please Jane?" I said, jumping up and down. Jane and Frankie smiled as I kept jumping, spouting things like "All my homework is done" and "you promised we could go play if it was nice" in my excitement. While I had spent plenty of time watching baseball, I had had limited opportunities to play it, and the prospect of getting to go play catch with my new family was just the greatest thing I could possibly think of in my ten-year-old mind, comparable to having a real-life unicorn. Almost.

Jane laughed, putting her hands on my shoulders to stop my incessant hopping.

"Alright, calm down, yes we are going to go to the park and play a little ball, see what you're made of. But first, you gotta get dressed and eat some breakfast, ok kiddo?" Jane said, looking at me in the eyes, her smile never leaving her face. I nodded, turning back to my room while breaking her light hold on my shoulders, closing my door forcefully so I could get changed as quickly as possible.

In a manner of what felt like seconds I was dressed in jeans, a plain red t-shirt and a black zip-up hooded sweatshirt, seated at the breakfast bar wolfing down a bowl of Cheerios like I was in a race. The whole time Jane and Frankie stood on the other side of the bar, sipping cups of coffee and watching me eat like it was the funniest thing in the world.

Maura came downstairs just as I was finishing up, dressed in jeans, flats, and her very own Boston Homicide baseball shirt, a light sweater folded over her arm. It was the most casual I had ever seen her dressed, I suppose she wanted to dress appropriately for a day at the park with a ten-year old.

It was early March, so there was still a crisp note to the New England air, but the sun was strong enough to actually warm us, so soon into our park trip, after a little jog to warm up and some basic catching and throwing lessons me, Jane and Frankie were ditching our sweatshirts, piling them up on a nearby bench. It was a lot of fun, learning the right form for throwing, watching Maura, Jane, and Frankie argue about the best technique to use, Maura using some really long math words that none of us understood to try to explain her technique, while Jane and Frankie insisted I do it the way they were taught. In the end Jane and Frankie ended up winning, with the argument of Frankie's almost-career as a professional trumping Maura's math. It also helped that, like Jane, I was left-handed, and it was difficult to translate Maura's technique to a "southpaw", as Jane called us.

Running around the park with Jane, Maura and Frankie was just so, normal. It felt like the most natural thing in the world, laughing and playing and learning about America's Pastime, drinking lemonades under the giant oak trees in the park that were just starting to grow their leaves back, the crisp Boston air biting at our noses, listening to the sounds of children laughing and dogs barking. This is what being a kid is supposed to feel like, like having no worries in the world, not having to worry about everything I do, not stressing about how long the latest foster home would last, or fretting over my clothes not fitting right, not constantly fighting the urge to run and hide somewhere dark and small. Playing in the park with members of my new family, I felt none of those old fears, I could just focus on the way my fingers gripped the laces of the baseball, the smell of the new leather of my mitt Frankie had brought with him that morning, adjusting the way my Red Sox cap sat on my head. I could just be a normal ten-year-old kid, learning baseball with her uncle and parents. So, my parents happened to both be women, and some of the other parents at the park stared when Jane and Maura kissed or held hands. They were my mothers, and that day was the first day I felt like a normal kid.

Of course, that feeling didn't last long.


	8. The End

As time passes and the days get longer and warmer, I fall into a routine with my new family. I go to school, go to soccer practice (Sarah plays on a local YMCA team and she convinced me to join her, even though I've never played soccer in my life) I go home. Saturday's are filled with homework and more soccer practice and hanging out with Sarah, who has declared us best friends, sealing it with a pair of matching pink-and-purple bracelets she made in art class. Sometimes we are joined with other friends of Sarah's, who are now my friends too by default, but mostly it's just the two of us. We watch tv, play in the snow, talk about boys, the usual things that normal fifth-graders do. And it feels so nice, being normal. Doing normal things.

Sunday is family day in the Isles-Rizzoli household. It starts with my weekly soccer games, even though I repeatedly said that it's no big deal, that no one needs to come, that I suck, but every Sunday Jane, Maura and Angela are there, sitting in the sidelines in folding lawn chairs, though Jane doesn't do much sitting, preferring to stalk up and down the sidelines, yelling at refs and giving the coaches a run for their money. Tommy, Lydia and TJ also come most weeks, and so do Frankie, Barry and Vince when their schedules allow them. I easily have the loudest cheering section when they all make it, it's almost deafening when I actually get the ball. They had to pause the game one week when I managed to score a goal, it was the first time everyone had made it and they had practically stormed the field after I scored. It was embarrassing, but my heart swelled with pride at my accomplishment, and seeing the smiles on their faces gave me one more memory to cancel out a bad one from before I met these amazing people, before I was adopted into this big, crazy family.

After soccer games it's lunch with the team, then home with my mothers and Angela.

It takes me a long time to stop calling them Jane and Maura, but after a particularly muddy soccer game I slipped and fell and when my mothers rush to check on me it just slips out, like the most natural thing in the world. "Mooooms ,I'm fine! Can I go back into the game, the team needs me! ". They had immediately stopped their fussing , and spent a few seconds looking at each other, then back to me, making sure they had heard me right. After a silent exchange they both kissed me on the head and walked back to the sidelines hand in hand. I was glad they didn't make a big deal about it, and from that day on they were no longer Jane and Maura, my legal guardians. They were Ma and Mom, Mama and Mommy, my parents. And I finally felt at peace. My nightmares and axiety attacks were nearly gone after that, through therapy and regular mediation with Mom, that turned into weekly yoga sessions when I got old enough to join her studio.

-  
I have two mothers. One is brash and bold and loud , while the other is more subdued. One is quick-witted and sarcastic , a ball-buster of a Boston PD Lieutenant, with a sharp mind and a low tolerance for bull, while my other mother has an easy grace to her, a flawless smile and a brain with more facts in it than all of my teachers combined, I'm sure of it.

My mothers have different strengths and weaknesses to them. The one I have dubbed MaMo, ever since that time when I were almost eleven and I were debating between Mom and Maura and my mouth couldn't decide quick enough, she helps me with most of my homework (except the subjects my other mother has managed to remember from high school) and she helps me do my hair before the school dance and pick out the perfect dress for 9th grade homecoming, even though I'm not the biggest fan of dresses, but I know that boy in my science class smiles a tiny bit bigger at me when I wear one to school, so I wear one to homecoming and he smiled and asked I to dance and it was wonderful.

And when he shows up at my house the following Friday for our date he is greeted by my Ma, who had conveniently been in the middle of cleaning her service weapon, and delighted in showing him how it all worked and mentioning just how quickly she can put one together, and how she has won several honors for her marksmanship from the Boston Police Department. Where she happens to be a Lieutenant. With a lot of connections. And he blushes beet red and looks like he wants to crawl into his shoes but he manages to stand straight and hardly stutters at all when he answers her questions, and my other mother is flushed with embarrassment at her wife's behavior, but she says nothing because she knows that this is Jane's way of showing she cares.

"Hey kiddo, whatcha writing?" Ma asked, kissing the top of my head and stroking my hair.

"Just an essay for English class" I answered, turning around in my computer chair. Ma stepped back a step and looked at me, arms crossed, waiting for me to finish. There were a few wrinkles around her eyes that hadn't been there when we first met, but other than that she looked exactly the same as that fateful day four years ago, wild curls and all.

"It's supposed to be about our heroes" I continued.

"So who'd you write about?" she said

"You and Mom, about when you adopted me" at that I saw her normally sharp features soften.

"Can I read it?" she asked quietly. She knew that that time in my life was a rough one, getting over the trauma of being in foster care for so long and adjusting to a loving, stable home where I could be myself and not have to worry about being given up or being ignored. But now I was in a stable home, a home where I didn't have to question the love of my family and didn't have to hide behind a wall of shyness or anger, a home where I was free to express myself without being judged. Maura and Jane, my Mommy and Mama, my mothers, were proof that love heals all wounds, that truly good people existed in this world, people who could love unconditionally, people who could love someone even when they didn't love themselves. Every morning that I woke up warm, safe, and loved in my bed I sent a small, silent prayer up to whatever power was there, thanking whoever they were for putting these people in my life. They took an angry, introverted young girl and helped her become who she always had the potential to be, but not the right environment. I will always be thankful for my mothers.

"Of course, let me print it out for you"

That night, while I was in my room getting ready for bed, I heard a small knock on my door. "Come in" I called softly, turning around to see who it was. Mom stood in the doorway, her blonde hair down around her shoulders, already changed into silk pajamas, holding a packet of papers. She walked over to my bed, sitting next to me.

"I read your essay Shannon, it was lovely" she said, holding out the sheaf of papers. "A few grammatical errors, but very minor ones, I circled them, you should correct them before you hand it in next week." She added, in her classic Mom way. "Shannon, I just want to tell you how proud I am of you, of all the progress you've made since you became our daughter, of all you've accomplished. You're Ma and I love you so much, and it makes us so happy that you feel comfortable enough to show us this, to write about this." She had a small smile on her face, just enough for her dimples to show, and her hand was resting on my knee. I put my hand on hers, smiling back.

"You and Ma are my heroes, how could I not write about you? With all you've given me these last four years, I never thought I could have a family like this, and everyone was so open and loving when you brought me home, and I was so horrible for a while there" at that Mom shook her head, but I held up my hand to stop her "You know those first few months were rough, I really thought you guys would give me up. But you never did, and I just wanted to show you how much I appreciate everything you did for me back then. I love you and Ma."

"And we love you too sweetheart. Alright, its time for bed, you have to get up early for practice. I love you, sleep well" and with a kiss on the forehead, Mom turned out the lights and closed my door behind her. And at that, warm and full of the kind of love that only family can provide, I slept.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think? I promise my writing gets better.


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